The 2 Essential Skills for Getting Unstuck from Your Bad Habits

by | Mar 17, 2014


UPDATE: Thanks for everyone who joined, video of the event is above.

Phew! It’s been a crazy few weeks of work and travel for me. It feels soooo good to be back in my home court habits of eating well and getting exercise. It’s crazy how addictive good habits can be once they become part of your life.

I know that many of you have had tremendous success building a healthstyle you love. I’ve received hundreds of emails from people who have had life-changing results from Summer Tomato and Foodist.

For many it was just one or two simple insights that let them stop struggling and finally get to the level of physical and emotional health they’ve always wanted. Sometimes they realized dieting wasn’t the answer and stopped the cycle of deprivation and rebound. Others realized it was easier than they originally assumed to stop being sedentary and fit in regular activity.

But I’ve also spoken to many of you that aren’t quite there yet. You like the idea of building habits and eating delicious food that also brings you health and satisfaction, but life keeps getting in the way.

You might tell yourself it’s a time thing, or blame stress, money or social obligations. But whatever the reason, you haven’t quite figured it out yet.

That’s what I want to help you with today.

Tonight: Monday, March 17, at 5:30pm PST I’m hosting a free Google+ Hangout where I’ll be sharing the two essential skills you need to get unstuck from your bad habits and start building healthy ones immediately (not in some vague future where everything is perfect and easy).

I’ll even be giving out using some real life examples from newsletter subscribers who sent in questions over the weekend.

Join us for the event here: Getting Unstuck: Overcoming the Overwhelm that Keeps You Unhealthy

If you’ve been wanting to make a healthstyle change but haven’t seemed to find the time, energy or motivation to get started, you definitely won’t want to miss it.

I look forward to seeing you tonight!

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21 Responses to “The 2 Essential Skills for Getting Unstuck from Your Bad Habits”

  1. Kirsten says:

    I really liked this talk. The part at the end about convenience really rang true for me. So far Foodist and habit building have been very interesting cerebral concepts for me. Time to make them physical! I think my main goal should be to have patience with myself, self-compassion, and take those baby steps. One vegetable, one recipe, one walk… Thank you for sharing your experiences and knowledge!!!

  2. Hi Darya – thanks so much for hosting the Google Hangout tonight…it was super informative, much appreciated. I always enjoy hearing your sensible views on things. One thing I’d like to hear your thoughts on is fluoride. Do you use toothpaste with or without fluoride? My dentist is very annoyed that I use toothpaste sans fluoride but I’m not sure what to think!

  3. Vickyhir says:

    Hi Darya, I just loved the chat last night. Last night I set my workout clothes beside by bed and went to sleep on time (for once!). Not a big change at all, but I plan on doing that for a couple of days before ramping up to putting on my outfit and heading downstairs to jump on the treadmill for ten minutes. (I live in Canada and it is still too icy and snowy in my parts to walk around the block). I really love what you said about picking something small that you are highly motivated to do; going to bed early might not make an immediate impact on my healthstyle goals, but if I am well rested enough that getting up a little earlier in the AM becomes doable than that small change will make all the difference. Good luck to everyone else who has been inspired to make some small changes. I would love to hear what other people are doing.

  4. The hangout was fantastic as always. I always loved your video shows online before. Thanks for the great information and it truly does help when you are in a rut like I am.

    Having diabetes and a heart condition sucks but your posts and newsletters have helped me to make changes to change my lifestyle. Thanks Darya.

  5. katherine says:

    really liked listening to this and think you have some great ideas. But, I would love to see more handouts/lists as you talk through some of these great ideas so that I can remember all of the good information!

  6. Mary says:

    Hi Darya,
    I just listened to the recording and I’m am a big fan of your work- simple and profound. I am a health coach myself. The biggest obstacle my clients have of course is not information but actually implementing the steps in their lives. Your philosophy about chunking it down, starting small, figuring out what gets in the way are all very practical skills that really resonate with me. In fact, I actually bought your book and gave them to a few of my clients as giveaways. Look forward to “hang” more!

  7. Kathleen Jaskolski says:

    I really needed to “hear” this tonight. Just been beating myself up for failing with the QWL program and throwing thousands of dollars down the tube. On some level I know and understand what you are saying, I believe it. I just need to put it into action. I can do the start small. In every other part of my life that is the approach I have taken but I didn’t acknowledge it. I have succeeded in virtually every other thing I have endeavored, with great success. Not by “starting small” in my own mind, but breaking big things into smaller pieces. That is how I always succeeded in the past. How did that escape me in the one thing that has been so elusive…?

  8. Jessica W says:

    I am so glad you are doing videos again! I love how you highlighted the baby steps it takes to get to where you want to go. I have been using this approach with my mom and she is changing the family’s habit as a result. This was great even great for me as I am trying to get back on a foodist healthstyle. I started my 2 week recalibration today and this was awesome to watch.

  9. V W Cheng says:

    LOVE the talk! I’ve shared it with my sister who’s prepping herself for ‘THE DRESS’ in Nov.

    Hoping it’ll give her a little more insight into a better lifestyle.

    I found dedicating ’00:45:00′ a little daunting at first, but once I put my headphones on and walked around as I tuned-in, it was a little less haranguing.

    I enjoyed the structure. Very insightful. Love your honesty.

    Offering brief ‘.mp3′ tracks perhaps? (listen to during a drive/walk/ride/etc.) With the title of each track – the problem that you’re tackling?

    Just a thought. I tuned all the way through and smiled and chuckled all throughout. Lovin’ it!

    Peace Out! 😀

  10. Sarah says:

    Hi Darya,
    This was great! This is the first one I listened to and I wasn’t sure what to expect but I really liked your suggestions and the way you incorporated real life examples. Makes me feel I’m not alone! I just started reading Foodist too and really like it. Thanks! Sarah

  11. AnneMary says:

    “The 2 Essential Skills for Getting Unstuck from Your Bad Habits” was incredible – it was exactly what I needed to hear. Being compassionate with yourself in relation to your health is so difficult at times but it really is necessary. Thank you so much for your approachability and kindness. I was so thrilled to hear there was a time when you didn’t know how to cook or even really like cooking. This is a huge barrier for me – I do not enjoy cooking. It literally causes me stress just to think about it. The kitchen has never “called” to me – I have no free form abilities and I always feel like I am cooking with anger or such uncertainty that instead of nourishing my family and myself they just end up with an angry meal – that is exhausting for everyone. My family has some pretty serious allergy issues as well which is another layer to add to my already negative attitude towards cooking. I know I can figure it out but I just wish I could do it with more love in my heart and less panic…I realize that simple steps are the answer. Thank you again! I look forward to hearing more from you in the coming months 🙂

    • Hilary says:

      Hi! I know this post is a bit old now – and I’m not sure you’ll read it. But I was just reading this and I thought of a couple tips to get over the “kitchen dread”. To me – the way to get over this mind set is to have a couple positive experiences in the kitchen. Its not that you can’t cook – its that you never learned. First try starting out with a recipe that is maybe just for you and not necessarily the whole family (if you ever get that opportunity) – thus you remove the fear of judgement from others. Then while you actually cook it, make sure your not in a rush and try to relax. For me I pour myself a glass of wine and blare my favourite music. So instead of just cooking I’m singing and dancing – how fun 🙂

      Also one other kitchen tip I have is soup! I know its not really soup weather anymore, but its how I taught myself to cook without a recipe and trust my instincts a bit more. I throw a bunch of stuff in a pot, cook it, and taste taste taste. I get a tiny bowl and use it to add different seasoning and I see how that flavour changes the soup without wrecking the whole batch… that way you start to see HOW things like salt, pepper, acid, and spices can change a crappy pot of soup into something tasty. And that knowledge can really transfer to other dishes.

      OKAY phew… that was kinda random, sorry. I just really like cooking. Good luck!

  12. Irene says:

    Fascinating. It never occurred to me that the shame and self-loathing caused by “cheating” on a diet is experienced as though the attack came from outside.Ergo, fight or flight.

  13. Kristin says:

    Hi Darya,

    I wasn’t able to watch your video live this week and appreciated being able to watch it today. Two things really resonated with me: the idea of shame holding us back and that everything is figureoutable. I recently watched a TED talk by Dr. Brene Brown who spoke about the power of vulnerability and the research she’s done about shame and fear along with another video (not on TED) by Marie Forleo where she mentioned that everything is figureoutable. It’s helpful to hear these messages over and over from different people and very cool they way they’ve intersected for me. I’ve been wanting to start running again and am taking small steps to get myself moving. I downloaded the 5K runner app to help me get back into it slowly and am scheduling time into my calendar to make it happen. Your reminder to try and get this done in the morning is a good one! Thank you for sharing your research, recipes, and tips 🙂

    • Darya Rose says:

      I love Marie Forleo and Brene Brown (I just shared one of her TED talks this week)! Glad you’re trying to take the hardest step of getting started.

      • Kristin says:

        I’m playing catch up this week and didn’t have a chance to go through the TED talks you recommended – I’ll definitely check those out! I’m so glad Brene Brown is one of them. You’re doing a great job of bringing all of this information together for us. I’ve got the home court habits down but notice I need to change up some of my go to meals since I’ve been making the same ones for a while. That’ll be easier with the seasons changing, plus I’m experimenting with using more herbs for seasoning (fresh and dried). I rarely eat out anymore and am often disappointed when I do. Doing my shopping and cooking for the week on the weekends is vital. If I can get the exercise thing down I’ll be all set 🙂

  14. Very inspirational!

    I loved your example of making it a game to put dirty clothes in the laundry basket by slam dunking them – and I even shared this on the blog for a Gamification course I am taking.

  15. Diandra says:

    Thanks Darya that was very encouraging. Most of us know exactly what to do we just need the motivation. loved your tips about exercise and not being so hard on yourself when you have failed. It felt like an older sister giving me advice and motivation that you so much. One more thing love your book!

  16. Amanda says:


    I’m glad I stumbled across you and the resources you offer. I believe people cross paths for a reason. Thank you for being so approachable.

    I’m so passionate about food and healthstyles. I can get lost in blogs and books and express my viewpoints until I’m blue in the face. However, I continue to be 50 lbs away from where I want to be. I am simply not following through. I’m with the rest of the people that have the knowledge and believe in it wholeheartedly. Instead, I continuously defy what feel right in my heart. That’s where frustration sets in. I’m sure it’s a snowball effect and would get easier with time, just like being lazy is a snowball effect and gets easier with time! I just haven’t found my way! I’m a single woman in my 30s with no kids. I have way too much time on my hands and no excuse! (Although, I would love to be able to get away with the “unexperienced chef” excuse.)

    Regarding the concept of being compassionate, what advice would you have for someone that is too forgiving and, perhaps, that is why they are in this predicament.

    Thanks for your time,

    • Darya Rose says:

      I doubt you’re too forgiving on yourself. It is naturally to believe you should be tougher on yourself, but instead you need to just put emotions aside and approach your issues like a scientist. What are you feeling when you do something you had decided not to do? What two desires are at odds? What makes one win over the other at a given time? How can you prevent that from happening again? You can’t know how to fix your problems until you know what they really are. Lack of motivation clearly isn’t it. It’s really an issue of competing motivations.

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