8 Tips For Drinking Less Without Your Friends Knowing

by | Aug 6, 2012

Photo by David Long

I have nothing against people who like to party. Partying is really fun, and a lot of the time I’m right there leading the crusade.

But we all know those people who really like to drink, and like to do it often. Not only do these guys take their own drinking a little too far, they’re experts at pressuring others to keep up with them drink-for-drink. And they’ll use mockery, guilt, generosity, logic, peer pressure and dozens of other tactics to get everyone around them to keep the party going.

These friends are fun to have, until they aren’t. As fun as it is to party, sometimes you want to go out and have a good time without regretting it the next day. Hangovers have their time and place, but when you have real responsibilities it is nice to have a way to hit it a little less hard, preferably without drawing attention to your secret plan.

Feel free to mix and match these tricks, different situations call for different lines of defense.

8 Tips For Drinking Less Without Your Friends Knowing

1. Alternate with water

This is a tried and true way to both cut back on alcohol and stay hydrated, thereby preventing a hangover. Every drink or two, go to the bar and ask for some water. You don’t need to make excuses for this, you’re thirsty and will get another drink in a second. Just be sure to finish the waters and feel free to take your time.

2. Drink clear liquids

Clear liquids like gin and vodka look like melting ice. So if you don’t want to finish every drink that comes your way, you can always leave a little extra in your old glass and no one will notice you aren’t tossing back as many as they are.

3. Order drinks that look like alcohol (but aren’t)

Another advantage of clear liquids. Vodka soda with lime is my favorite go-to drink on late nights, and it’s awesome for several reasons. Besides being easily palatable and sugar free, you also have the option of leaving out the vodka all together. Just order a club soda with lime and ask the bartender to make it look like a cocktail—they’re usually more than happy to comply.

4. Be forgetful

You don’t have to be limited to clear liquids to abandon the occasional half-full glass. Leave your drink on the bar, in the bathroom, on a random table or anywhere it won’t attract attention. That way when someone offers you another, you’re ready.

5. Drink light beer

If you’re a beer drinker and all this clear liquid talk is making you squirm, never fear. There is a huge difference in alcohol content of beers, with light beers coming in around 4% alcohol and some fancy Belgians topping out at over 10%. You do the math.

If you know you’ll have to get through more than you’ve bargaining for, opt for lighter beers. If you’re like me and think Bud Light tastes like donkey pee, go with a Mexican beer like Corona and add a lime. I can drink those all night and barely get a buzz going—and I’m little.

6. Master the shot spit

Drinking nights often don’t turn crazy until someone starts ordering shots, then it’s all over. Bartenders have this problem too, since drunk people often think they’ve found a new best friend and gratefully buy their server shots throughout the night. To avoid getting hammered on the job, bartenders keep a half empty pint of beer nearby and pretend to use it as a chaser but really spit shots back into it.

If you know your friends are likely to “surprise” everyone with shots be sure to have a nearby water glass or pint that you’re nursing. Use the old bartenders’ trick and no one will suspect. I know it’s gross, but it works. Just remember to not actually drink the beer later.

7. Show up late

Sometimes special occasions are specifically set aside for excessive drinking. If you need to make an appearance but would rather not sacrifice your liver, show up 45-60 minutes late. Everyone will already be one drink ahead of you.

8. Order half shots

If you’re in charge of ordering your own drinks and vodka soda isn’t your thing, ask for your regular cocktail but request a half shot instead of the normal full. You’ll still get the fun of drinking, but each drink will contribute less to tomorrow’s headache.

What are your favorite tricks for drinking less without your friends knowing?

Originally published June 29, 2011.

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89 Responses to “8 Tips For Drinking Less Without Your Friends Knowing”

  1. LeylaLuv says:

    There are 70 plus posts to this blog already (and, true confessions, I did not read them all – so I hope I am not just rehashing another person’s reply) but …
    I was amused by one of your earlier tips. Last year, on a gulag in Turkey, with my husband and two other couples, one of my friends (a wife) approached me and, with all seriousness said, “L,” have you had tested for diabetes lately? I have noticed you an awful lot of water at dinner.” Need I add they were drinking way too much wine?

  2. Monica Ingersoll says:

    Thank you for the post. We are going to a beer festival that has been planned a long time ago and I am 4 weeks pregnant…so not at the stage where i can tell people, but not that I want to cancel our plans either. I’m hoping some of the breweries have rootbeer that looks like a stout 🙂

  3. DudeAbides says:

    Found this post from Googling “drink less”. Still #7 on Google hit list, after 5-6 yrs, so that’s awesome! Highly recommend reading ALL comments before you post! Quite entertaining, if you stick with it! I did NOT enjoy all the initial negativity, around “friendship”, so there’s that.

    I typed a bunch of stuff, that I ended up deleting, when I realized really just 3 comments/questions of importance:
    1. (and most important) Who’s Kevin?
    2. Keystone “beer”? Really?? Don’t know Donkey pee taste, but this one seems to be made from rancid dead cat kidneys. Source: I drank about 1/2 a can once. Against many Bud Light/Coronas.
    3. ali cracked me up! Any suitor worth his salt would immediately find her a Snicker’s bar, or some dark chocolate.

    Nice post, Darya. Still got folks yapping into 2017!

  4. sarah G. says:

    HA! This is the article that brought me to this blog. I’m trying to “parental-ly guide” my 13 and 15 year-olds when we watch binge drinking on some movies or shows that they like. I mean, it’s almost unavoidable these days.
    “Just say ‘No'” and “find better people to hang out with” is just not practical advice in the real world for every single situation. It’s great to have a variety tools to manage one of the most challenging social situations we have in modern life. Now, my kids cant drink legally for another 6-8 years, so I have that amount of time to have repeated discussions about how they can handle themselves and their companions when they do start to drink. Wish I knew these strategies 25 yrs ago, my gpa woulda been higher me thinks! It’s a crying shame that college students drink so much, it’s really bad for intellectual pursuits, alcohol being a toxin to the brain and all, they spend so much money to go to college and learn and then the alcohol makes the learning even harder. What a waste.

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